Take a deep breath. Now let it out. Let’s do it again. Deep breath. Let it out. There. Feel better? Not yet? Try rolling your shoulders; touch you chin to your chest. Better? No? Well hell, then. Try this. Go to the fridge, get the orange juice. Now go to the freezer and get the vodka. Grab a glass. Add ice. Mix, imbibe, relax. Ahhh yes. That’s much better.
Okay, I have to admit that is pretty much my internal dialogue lately. I’m so wound up and stressed out these days. I don’t turn to the vodka as much as I think about it because…well because it’s hard to turn to drink you don’t have. Curse you economy! I shake my fist at the set of life circumstances that makes it hard to pay the bills much less leave any room for personal things like a cheap bottle of wine or a trip to the movies with Hubby.
But things are bound to get better because I’ve made a decision. I’m going into business for myself. It’s kind of a paradox, though. I’m stressed out about money so I’m going to start a business. But starting a business is making me stress out. See how that works? Those vicious little cycles sure suck the fun out of bold new endeavors.
If you’ve read this far you’re probably wondering what my point is. Either that or you’re wondering what it is I’ll be doing. If you don’t care about either of those things, then perhaps you need to lay off the vodka.
It recently became obvious that if we want to continue homeschooling then a second source of income would be necessary. Not because homeschooling is so all-fired expensive because I’ve figured out how to do it on the cheap, but because life is just getting expensive and the paycheck isn’t stretching the way it did a year ago. Reminds me of that old song “the old grey mare, she ain’t what she used to be”. Hubby said he’d take a second job but I really don’t want that. He already works so hard and does so much for us. But he didn’t want me to go out and get a job either, because he feels very strongly that one of us needs to be the consistently available parent. So after wracking my brain for things I could do either after BB was in bed or on the weekends or from home my list of options didn’t seem very big. I could try being a yard sale hound and then ebaying my butt off but that didn’t sound like much fun to me. I considered cleaning houses but I hate cleaning my own, cleaning someone else’s kid’s pee off the floor would make me miserable. I thought about becoming a “virtual assistant” and that sounded a lot better, but still not quite right. But I rode the ”VA” wave for a while when it hit me like a ton of bricks. Writing. No, not my novel (But look out Nanowrimo, I’m coming to get you in two months!). I’m going to be a copywriter. It makes perfect sense. I think I’m pretty good at writing, though this post is not the most shining example of that fact, and I enjoy it a lot. It’s something that I can do, do well, and feel good about. It’s something I can do from home, in my time and that, with enough hard work and grit, can allow me to make a good income.
There is still a long way for me to go before I’m off the ground, but I’m making good headway. I have a name picked out, a website in the works, and two “portfolio building” gigs (read: free) going on. I’m scared crap-less, I’m stressed out to the point of insomnia and belly aches, but damn it, I feel confident. I feel proud, powerful and in control. It’s a long road that I have to travel, but long roads often lead to delightful destinations.